Capital Markets / Investor Relations in Two Minutes or Less
A Chicago Handshake: Tales from a Third-Rate Sell-Side Analyst
No one typically seeks out a career as a Sell-Side Analyst.
I am the odd duck that sought a career in Sell-Side Equity Research, maybe that explains all of the LinkedIn videos.
I digress.
What Is a Chicago Handshake?
A Chicago Handshake consists of a shot of Jeppson’s Malort and an Old Style beer.
What Does a Chicago Handshake Have to Do with Equity Research?
A career in sell-side equity research is a lot like a Chicago Handshake.
The shot of malort, similar to schnapps, or paint thinner for many, represents the difficult personalities and difficult situations one deals with on a regular basis. Think have you ever cost an investor $50 million and they hate your guts?
The Old Style represents everything else that smooths out your experience.
To an outsider, Sell-Side Equity Research likely represents a jet set lifestyle, consisting of endless magical CNBC appearances, travel to all the big cities like NYC, Boston, Chicago, et al., and leading cutting-edge IPO after cutting-edge IPO.
In reality, as a wise former MLB-player turned broker might say, “It’s a grind!”
One day you might wake up to working an IPO for an HCIT company with its offshore operations in the middle of no where Pakistan!
Maybe it is covering an M&A transaction during your honeymoon in some remote local.
The real grind of Equity Research comes in four areas:
Quarterly Earnings: Do you have the stamina to cover eight companies all reporting earnings at 5 pm ET on the same day? Updating a model and writing an update note for each company submitting your note to the SA at 3 am. Only to do the Golden Round so that you can pitch your best call on the morning call at 7 am ET.
Morning Call: Can you not only convince the head of sales to be on the call, but succinctly explain your best call in three minutes or less after the all-night earnings marathon and golden round?
Difficult Personalities / Situations: Do you have the stamina to withstand an investor cussing you out for 30 minutes because you just lost him $50M because of your incorrect call? Maybe its dealing with JR Ewing, who has an aneurism anytime he sees your research or hears your name.
Marketing Trips and NDR Travel: I hear Des Moines in January is great!
As a wise analyst once told me: A winning day = Mixed at Best!
Despite many days being mixed at best, if you play your cards right, you will get to talk to the smartest people you will ever meet and interact with interesting companies.
Sell-Side Equity Research represents a great foundation for being a public company executive!
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