Capital Markets / Investor Relations in Two Minutes or Less
A Chicago Handshake: From NBA Baller to Blacklisted
Many analysts complain about not getting a question on an earnings call.
There are a lot worse slights a Sell-Side Analyst can experience than being omitted from Q&A.
My abnormal experience lies is a function of having a Sell rating on 50% of my coverage universe, particularly Cerner.
My Sell ratings were not the token rating quota type. Issuing a Sell Rating seems to provide free license to abuse the analyst in question, just see Palantir CEO Alex Karp on Short Sellers and cocaine!
Impediments I Experienced as a Sell-Side Analyst
1. Prohibited from Asking Questions on Earnings Calls
2. Prohibited from Management Access
3. Hostile, Threatening, Aggressive Emails from Executives
4. Called an A** H*** by Sell-Siders that Never Met Me
5. Sell-Siders Trashing Me to Executives in Front of My Face
6. Omitted from Conference Calls of Covered Companies
7. Prohibited from Attending Company Events
8. Prohibited from Getting Non-Deal Roadshows (NDR)
9. Told Off for My Sell Rating by Investors
10. Told Off by a CEO During a Post Earnings Call Back
11. Getting Sickened at an Analyst Lunch Event
Despite all of these unprofessional actions, I still built a wildly successful research franchise!
I got votes from Fidelity, Putnam, MFS, Morgan Stanley Investment Management, Carlson, Columbia, Franklin, and RS Investments!
I think I am the only Digital Healthcare Sell-Side Analyst to given a presentation on the subject to former NBA Commissoner David Stern!
Crazy Actions Experienced as an Investor Relations Officer
1. Cussed Out for 30 Minutes by an Investor
2. Reprimanded for Not Addressing a Sell-Side Analyst by His Correct Title
3. Asked to Provide Material Non-Public Information – I Did Not Comply!
4. Threatened Because an Analyst Did Not Get Investment Banking Business
5. Short Attacked by a Sell-Side Analyst
6. Bullied by Sell-Side Analysts for Not Calling Them First
7. Having an Analyst Proactively Try to Create Situations to Ruin My Career.
8. Told My Passion for Investor Relations Shows People Up
Despite all of these actions, I have built a reputation of disarming some of the most difficult personalities!
I continue to pay for my Sell on Cerner, several years after leaving the sell-side, I got emails from Cerner:
1. Threatening My Unemployment
2. Admitting to Ruining My Sell-Side Career
Putting a Sell rating on Cerner, cost me my career, my marriage, and my family, and probably explains why the only job opportunity I have today is Cashier at Chick-Fil-A.
A Sell Rating + Wrong Company = Career Suicide for a Sell Side Analyst!
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